I know what you are.
Say it… out loud. Say it…
Now it’s taken me a solid 20 years to be fully comfortable with my luminescent, somewhat translucent, ridiculously white skin, but I’ve gotten there. I come from a family of Serbians, so being the odd one out kinda really sucks. Trips down to the coast mean I can’t get my melanoma on like the rest of my olive skin clad clan and instead I’m left to sit in my sun tent… yep a sun tent. Lucky for me, my mother and aunty saw the potential beauty in my milky melanin and always encouraged me to keep it as pure as porcelain, free from freckles and moles. As much as I love the freckle look, I don’t think I have what it takes to pull that off. So I’m forever grateful I was pushed to sit in the shade, donned in sunscreen and sun hats, while everyone else enjoyed the sun.
So whats this got to do with BIG INK? Well, I’m hoping I can shed some light on the beauty of having porcelain skin. I’m still envious as heck of those with the glowing gorgeous tanned complexions, even just those with the ability to tan. It’s been a challenge being comfortable with my skin tone, I was ridiculed, in good faith albeit, it still chipped away at my confidence. I was always the one people would stand next to so they could look more tan, or there were glow in the dark jokes – I mean I’m a very self deprecating person so I joined in on these, but during my impressionable years, it definitely left a mark.
Winter is one of my favourite seasons, I can get away with layers upon layers and hide under coats to avoid sunburn – but summer edges around the corner and I need to ditch the stockings and jumpers and blind people with the whiteness that lurks beneath. Some would say, ‘get a tan?’ I say, blasphemy. So when it’s 30degrees (my limit) I need to come up with a sun safe solution of dressing. The last thing I want to do is not be able to move due to a tremendously horrid sunburn that doesn’t even fade into a tan.
My go-to clothes in summer, are t-shirt dresses, maxi skirts and super thin button up shirts. LUCKILY people are finally starting to come around and say ‘oh hey, maybe white as fk skin isn’t as ugly as we’ve been saying, and you don’t have to be tanned to be beautiful.’ and skin cancer has become more on the forefront of peoples minds, both fortunately and unfortunately; trends are now featuring more t-shirts, summer pants, thin long sleeves, its still hard as ever for me to find clothes and outfits.
If you see me emerge from my air-conditioned den, then you’ll normally find me under a denim jacket and a dress, my legs can deal with some sun, but as soon as those shoulders feel the heat – game over. Anything maxi, is my friend in summer – I can move around, slut drop, crouch over picnic blankets stuffing my face and not worry about flashing, I’m a free agent in maxi skirts and dresses. I try and dress sun safely because I mean yeh sunscreens a thing and all, but Im one of those people who forget to eat lunch or forget to take the pill, so I mean I definitely try my best to apply the safe liquid lotion, but I’m not going to rely on just that because if I did, I’d be a shrivelled up leather bag by now.
I probably sound like the slip, slop, slap bird but seriously I’m all about that sun safety – one of the things that keeps me confident in my pale existence is the fact that minimal sun damage will make me age like Meryl Streep and I wont look like the weird neighbour off theres something about Mary.
People still ridicule me and try to give me lessons on how to tan – but look, to be honest I’m finally at a point where I’m comfortable enough in my skin that I don’t need to try and fit societal norms. And I think its something that a lot of fair skinned girls struggle with, particularly with Australia being such a beach culture, its hard to not want to fit in and be like all the amazing surfer girls rocking their sun kissed skin.
Porcelain Princess xxx
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